Ramblings 3.3 (So what’s going on?)

“Hope”
By Sanjin Halimic
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I know readers on my site, must be wondering “Why are there no chapters?” or “What is going on?” To be blunt about the answer, I’m exhausted.

That is the short and simple answer, for anyone that does not want to read past this point. 

Fair warning there are a laundry list of reasons for my tardiness, and let me apologize for not providing quick updates and stuff.

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I’ve been out of it these past few months. Stress just seems to pile on without me consciously realizing it (until I was forced to come to terms with it).

April-May-June-July…….

With a pandemic going on and my local government being tipsy-turvy when it comes to dealing with the situation. This has been quite the stressful time for everyone I know, and I’m sure feeling might be similar for all my readers too.

With translations being done by other people this time. For example:

• Bringing Modern Weapons to a Fantasy World chapters 18 & 19 are being done by “Lævateinn”
• Sex & Dungeon are being done by “Kaimana”

A part of me thought, I could just take it easy for a little bit and try to relax, heal my hand, get through life and stuff. But reflecting on these past three months, it sort of feels unreal.

I know this is a rough year for pretty much the world, we are experiencing the pandemic virus in various ways, and each to their own right? Well, I am trying to live my life as best as I can during this period of uncertainty (But 2020 sucks right now). 

Earlier this year, I had a accident with my hand and almost lost some fingers. I am thankful I still have my fingers and hand. And in that period, I took a backseat on translating proactively, because I didn’t want to agitate my injury any more than I should.

All the while the virus was making its rounds in my local area, shutting down businesses and putting my area in a lockdown. New laws concerning virus procedures, like wearing a mask, social distancing, etc. 

Well in the month of May my grandmother passed away (Father’s Mom). And due to the lockdown procedures no one could fly off the island for the funeral. Because the Viewing & funeral were in a different country & flights during this period were not available. So the whole thing was pretty much live-streamed via social media for family that couldn’t attend. (To put it plainly, it was rough for my father & his side of the family)

Now I haven’t taken time off from work, because during these crazy times, having a job is a privilege. And not to boast, but I’m the breadwinner in my household, as I pay majority of the bills. There are many of my peers who are out of a job, laid off, waiting on unemployment checks, missing payments on bills, rent, mortgage, etc.  I know its not the best reason to justify working so much, but I guess you could say I fear for my future.

You know I try to stay optimistic, and to motivate myself I just listen to music, close my eyes and meditate or pray or both.

And then in the Month of June my grandmother passes away (Mother’s Mom). And it’s the same situation as last month, can’t travel due to Hawaii Lockdown. And the same thing that happened to my father’s side of the family, my mom’s side of the family went to experience it too. The viewing & funeral were live-streamed via social media for family that couldn’t attend. And it was also rough for my mom and her side of the family.

*Sigh*

I know I haven’t really responded to questions and I know….. Okay, I’m not purposefully ignoring concerned people or their comments, whether it be on discord, on my website, Novelupdates forums, various social media, etc.

I’m just mentally exhausted. 

I mentioned on my discord, while reflecting on things, I guess the stress from my environment was affecting me more than I realized.

And looking back, it did take a toll on me. Because I was only having one or two meals a day and I would just muddle through each week. Living week-by-week, working, sleeping, eating, checking the news, trying to have hope, trying to stay optimistic. I did lose some weight in the process, but nothing too extreme.

I guess the best meme I can throw out is the one from “The Green Mile” with John Coffey.  Where he says “I’m tired, Boss….”

If I could tune out bad news from mainstream media, I would, but even if I did that for myself. In my surroundings I would learn of it, whether if its at work or home. (I know, random tangent. But without news, I’d be living under a rock.)

This is just a snapshot, of these past months.  I think this week, I’ll have to prepare for an oncoming  Hurricane (Douglas – Pacific Region).

I appreciate that readers aren’t coming at me or other translators, whose works I host on this site with pitchforks. And truthfully they aren’t at fault for why there aren’t any chapter updates. I am to blame. Because I have them submit their works to me & I edit/proofread/host their work.  I am also thankful to those translators who’ve placed their trust in me to provide them a platform.

Soooo yeaahhh……  I know this may be a lot to take in. I’ve tried to shorten my explanations as best as I could, while providing readers of this platform some insight to some of my personal issues.

I thank you for your continued patience.

And Dear Reader, no matter where you are in this world, I do wish you the best, I wish that you are in good health, for your success and that you achieve your goals in life.

Live long and prosper!